


you'll never know dear (how much i love you)

by sunandoceanblue



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Kid Fic, Post TLJ, very self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 20:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15614394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunandoceanblue/pseuds/sunandoceanblue
Summary: With her gorgeous curls tied up with ribbons and her soft, flushed cheeks, she was the most beautiful being Rey had ever set eyes upon.





	you'll never know dear (how much i love you)

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write a finnrey baby fic. so i did.

Life bloomed around her. The sky, bright and cloudless, melted into the lush horizon. The wind carried the earthy aromas through the garden, the overwhelming fragrance of blueblossoms and everlilies, the hint of dirt underneath. Insects hopped from branch to branch, buzzed around them nonchalantly, ignoring her presence so long as they got their nectar.

Rey tipped her head to the sun, eyes shut, lips parted. The day was warm but not hot, the air fresh and crisp. Her cheeks were flush with colour, strands of hair danced in front of her face. It was calm, peaceful. She was relaxed. She was so relaxed she was almost feverish, giddy. It shouldn’t be this easy. But it was.

“Momma.”

Rey’s eyes fluttered open and she looked down. A chubby arm was stretched out to her, a fistful of yellow petals and tufts of dirt clutched in the small fingers.

Of all the flowers surrounding them, her daughter picked out the weeds.

Rey crouched and took the flowers, brought them to her nose and inhaled. Dirt and pollen. She smiled. “They’re lovely, Hope.”

The little girl’s face lightened at Rey’s smile. Her large eyes were warm and curious. She had dirt on her cheeks and leaves in her dark mess of curls. She clasped her hands in front of her. Her sundress was stained and her shoes were scuffed. She grinned brighter than a galaxy of stars.

“Why don’t you pick some for your daddy, too?” asked Rey.

Hope nodded and clapped her hands. She toddled off, distracted by a butterfly after a few steps. She laughed and chased it, arms outstretched as it fluttered away.

Rey sat on the ground and stared. She made that. That small, divine little creature. Rey made her. She came from Rey. She had started as nothing, and as she grew, so did Rey’s heart. From a speck of stardust to an entire constellation. Hope filled the gaps in her that Rey wasn’t even aware she had. She didn’t know she was leaking until Hope was there, keeping her whole. She was the embodiment of true love, physical proof of her utter devotion to her other half.

She looked over to the small blanket set out nearby. Bit by bit, Finn brought out the food, the plates. The large pitch of iced tea that he brewed from the leaves and petals from their garden. Their garden that Finn watered and Rey weeded. Hope ate the dirt and chased the beetles on the rocks.

Finn caught her gaze, winked. Rey ducked her head, smiled at him, peering from underneath her lashes. He was handsome with his sleeves rolled up and top buttons undone. What was more appealing was how at ease he appeared. This life was as natural as breathing and it had waited for them to stop holding their breath.

Rey stood and joined Finn on the picnic blanket.

“You’re just in time,” Finn said, taking her hand and squeezing it. “We’re ready to go. Where’s Hope?”

“Picking you flowers.” Rey pointed to the mass of bushes where a mop of black hair bounced between the clusters of flowers.

Finn sat and tugged Rey down beside him. “Restoring this garden was a good idea. The vegetables are perfect.”

“Our own vegetables.”

“Fresh, full of vitamins and minerals.”

Rey chuckled. “Don’t pretend you know what’s in vegetables.”

“I know they’re better than the dehydrated ones they served at the mess hall.” Finn shrugged. “If those were good for us, they would have also been giving us daily vitamins.”

“You’re lucky you even got that.”

Finn rubbed her shoulder. “Hey, now’s not the type for one of our sad sack competitions. In a few weeks, we’ll make a huge feast out of our next harvest.”

Rey nodded, sighed. “Right. Mm, feel that sun. I love this weather.”

“Feels good. Natural.”

“It’s nice feeling natural.”

“Damn right.” Finn looked up again, raised his voice. “Hey, sunshine, come over here. Time for lunch.”

There was silence. Then the patter of small feet. Hope emerged from the garden, dirtier than before, flowers and twigs in both hands. Hope came over, stumbled once and then stood before them proudly. She held out her hands. “Daddy, look..”

Finn whistled. “Gorgeous, baby. But it’s time to eat. Put them down and come here.”

“We’ll put them in a vase after lunch,” Rey said as Finn scooped the girl up. He put her hat on her and wiped at her cheeks while she squirmed and giggled. Finn gave up and sat the girl on his knee. He handed Hope a sandwich cut into triangles. It was her favourite spread; sunberry jam and peanut butter. Hope chirped out a thank you and stuffed half the sandwich in her mouth.

“Chew, Hope,” Finn said, pinching her cheek.

Rey smiled and served up two bowls of pasta salad for her and Finn. Neither of them had ever eaten meals full of fresh produce, vibrant in colour. Now their bowls were piled high with fruits and berries for breakfast, and their night filled with chopping vegetables and singing songs from Hope’s favourite holo-films. Rey never knew life could be like this. She never knew this was what the masses dreamed about at night. A house of their own, a happy family. A peaceful galaxy. Here it was. She woke to rain on the roof on chilly mornings and a soft breeze chasing them through the day. She walked around her garden and tipped her face to the sun without fear of being burnt.

She handed Finn a bowl, who took it and thanked her. The pasta salad was a joint effort. Their cooking skills were once horrendous. In the early days of living in their new home, they’d have either Rose or Poe on the comm, instructing the newlyweds on what spices to use and how long to cook their meat. Now Finn could whip up a delicious dish with leftovers, and Rey could turn a bowl of fruit and muesli into a work of art. Rose told her there was a whole section of the holo-net dedicated to this sort of thing. Rey couldn’t fathom it; she spent every night just dreaming of food while millions of guroot smoothies and smashed bloddle toast littered the holo-sharing platforms.

Hope had sunberry jam smeared all over her cheeks. Rey took a handkerchief out of the picnic basket and dabbed at her round cheeks. The toddler wriggled and kicked her legs. “Momma, I’m eating my sammich.”

“Will you let me clean you up after.”

Hope nodded, her focus already returning to her sandwich. She was a hungry little thing, never without a piece of fruit or sippy cup full of juice in her hand. She wasn’t a fan of highly processed foods, making faces whenever offered them, which was rare; usually, the last resort when they hadn’t packed food of their own. Hope could name all the produce in their garden and cooed over the bright colours and refreshing smells. She spent her days chasing butterflies and picking berries, whenever Finn wasn’t teaching her to count or how to pronounce the planets in the system.

Rey focused on her own meal. The first mouthful was an explosion of flavour. There was something about the fresh crunch of the vegetables and the bite of the spices that brought a satisfied smile to her face. And, of course, pasta was a guilty pleasure of hers. It was so filling and easy to make. They tried making their own pasta once but that just ended in floury handprints all over the kitchen and a pasta sauce turned improvised soup for dinner. It was comforting to have something so cheap and so easy to make to fill her up on the lazy days where she didn’t feel like cooking. In their little house, she could afford to have those sorts of days.

“Momma, look.”

Rey followed Hope’s pointing finger to an electric blue butterfly that settled on the basket. Hope squirmed in Finn’s grip and reached for it. “Butter, butter!”

“Butterfly, kiddo,” Finn said, trying to settle Hope in his lap again.

Hope’s movements startled the butterfly into flight again and it flittered off, quickly disappearing behind the rose bushes. Hope huffed, bottom lip pushed out. Rey watched the girl, forgetting about her meal. She was so swept up in awe at this little creature before her. This small mess maker who couldn’t sit still and forgot to use her inside voice. With her gorgeous curls tied up with ribbons and her soft, flushed cheeks, she was the most beautiful being Rey had ever set eyes upon. Finn was a close second, but their little girl outshone the stars.

Hope was living, breathing proof that even the more dire situations could get better. Rey had the happy ending she didn’t know she craved. The vague, distant future she’d been dreaming of all those years. The nights of empty bellies and tear stained cheeks were in the past.

Rey opened her arms out for her daughter. “Come here, love.”

Hope grinned at her, her smile still gummy but bright. Finn let her go and she slid off his lap, stumbled a moment, then made her way to Rey. Her eyes were filled to the brim with such adoration that made Rey’s heart stutter in her chest. She reached for her daughter.

And then she was falling.

Her body wasn’t moving; Hope was jumping on the spot, arms thrown up, “Up, Momma, up!”, but Rey was falling back inside herself. The sky was sunny, then overcast; then it was night. There were no stars. The stutter in her heart turned to a jolt and she jerked upright.

The covers fell from her body as she sat up, gasping for air. The sound of blood rushing through her eyes drown out all else. She was blind for a moment. Then her eyes adjusted to the moonlight pouring in from the slit in the curtains. Her bare chest heaved, nipples hard and skin prickled in the cold air of the night.

“Babe?”

Rey blinked and turned her attention to the voice. Finn was beside her, on his stomach, one eye cracked open at her. Finn's warm, strong arm was thrown across her lap. He didn’t look completely awake.

Rey shook her head slowly. “I’m alright,” she said. She cleared her throat. “I had the strangest dream.”

Finn hummed and tugged her towards him. “Tell me in the morning.”

Rey settled into his arms. Finn engulfed her into an embrace, already dozing off again. She pillowed her head against his chest, sleep already tugging at her mind as well. Finn was right; she could tell him in the morning. She’d tell him about the strange dream she had, filled with colour and warmth.

She’d tell him that maybe it wasn’t just a dream. Maybe it was a promise of what was to come.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [tumblr](http://thesunandoceanblue.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/leshimonster) but fair warning, it's mostly kylux


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